I Miss Her..

It’s been months now. To have seen her. Feel her. Hug her. Kiss her.

Life is testing us since half a year. She has been at the receiving end. With her severe backache, she is at her home taking the treatment and I am looking for a job. Thanks to scarcity of funds, we can’t meet. We are in debt too. We just took risks with the last project we did. Nothing’s wrong with that. That is important for growth. Without risks, we are dead souls. Yet, this risk got us into trouble. We never knew it would take a toll on her health.

This is the time when she needs me more and the vice versa. Yet, we are far away from each other. In India, it feels like a continent to travel from southern part of the country to the west.

Yet, she hasn’t lost courage. She inspires me, often, to face it all with humility. That makes her adorable, just irresistible. She is a woman.

I miss her.

♥ ♥

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A profound love letter by a girl

Subject: Love in you

Sagar,

I find love in you , I find you in love. 

You are the matter of my heart and truth of the matter.

You are a driving force in my life.

I love you and I believe you.

The journey of togetherness that we took before few months will be a journey of a lifetime, this journey has no beginning and no end.

I feel blessed in the moment, I feel you around me , into me.

Feeling your whispers, your touch, your love.

Need you right here to give you a warm and tight hug.

My love is growing for you more and more day by day but in a very different way. Though, we are communicating less these days, I feel that we are getting closer.

Our love is now going to another level probably and we are learning to love silently. Feeling each other in our own moments individually but still together.

I have felt the need to be with you by making this relationship more secured at times by signing papers but then I have also felt more urge from within to remain in love and trust love without signing papers.

I do believe and feel that our love is timeless and endless. <3.

In love with you madly.

Maani

 

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

– Maya Angelou

The poet is a well-known name. Found this really beautiful poem from a blog. I was speechless reading it. Blown away by her truthfulness and aggression. I thank Maya Angelou from the core of my heart for the magic! She is phenomenal.

Here’s the source. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/phenomenal-woman/

Stay extraordinary.

‘Price Tag’

Pata hai, unn ka (read her fiancé) credit card mere paas hai!! Unhoney apna credit card mujhe chupke se diya aur kahaa jamm ke shopping karna, jo dil chahe wo kharid lena”, quotes a Marwari girl who is going to be married soon while talking to her cousin (male) over the phone. Naturally, the girl is in freaking shopping mood and nothing comes in between a girl and her shopping. Nothing else, literally!

Bahnon ka ek-ek ghagra 8 se 9 hazaar rupaye ke hain, issey kam ke pasand hi nahin aa rahe”.

Bhai ka chola kurta dekh rahe they, kam se kam 4-5 hazaar toh lagenge hi”, she continues to pin-point the prices as if without that her brother will not be impressed by her fiancé’s status or as if he has never heard of so expensive clothes being bought by somebody in his family!!

Waise unhoney honeymoon ki shopping toh already kar li hai, bol rahe they ki 60 – 65 hazaar ka shopping kiya hai sirf mere liye. Sab kuchh kharid liya hai, jaise skirts, jeans, minies wagerah wagerah!”

“Aah…Rs.60-65,000 of only clothes for honeymoon and that to only for the bride, couldn’t she be a little modest while saying the number!!” (thinks the poor cousin silently on the other side of the call.)

In Marwari families, a marriage is a status symbol for both the fathers. Especially for the girl’s father it’s an opportunity for him to make a statement to the society, basically to his own network of friends and possible foes. So the shopping has to be done wisely also keeping economy in the mind. Kyun ki, maa kasam.. kharcha bahut honey wala hai! And the bride is too choosy in everything she buys, even the brands of the mehndi and haldi.

The phone call is on, “Shopping ke liye papa aur mummy bhi saath hain aur papa ka budget toh fixed hai. Unn ko jo pasand aa raha hai wo mujhe pasand nahin aa raha. Itney saarey dukaano mein kuchh bhi achha nahin hai. Mera toh dimaag kharab ho gaya, aakhir shaadi mein dhang key kapde toh hone hi chahiye na!” “Phir unn ko (read her fiancé) phone kiya toh unhoney ek dukaan batai Kalkatta (in general Hindi the city’s pronunciation changes a little) mein. Hum log wahan gaye aur wahan toh mast kapde mil gaye achhe daam mein. Mujhe toh mazaa aa gaya!!”

In the meantime, her cousin on the other side of the phone call is nearly silent with uttering a few words in between, like ‘achhaa (to his surprise)’, ‘that’s good’, ‘badhiya hai’!!

Bhaiya, papa bula rahe hain, aur bhi bahut shopping karni hai. Main abhi phone rakhti hun. Baad mein baat karte hain”, she hung up the call finally!

In the entire conversation, one thing was common, the price-tag. Remember, wahi price-tag jo hum hamesha kuchh bhi kharidtey waqt dekhte hain, jissey dekhne key baad hamari pasand napasand mein badal jati hai aur napasand pasand mein. Iss tag ka dusra naam hai ‘maal’ aur ‘jahan maal hai …wahan taal hai’!! Hai na…

The cousin was happy for his sister, at the same time he thought of what he’s got to do with those over-stressed price-tags!! He was laughing inside on the way the prices were told with an exaggerating voice and the way ‘money’ spoke through a human’s mouth. He wondered about his own fate when he gonna get married!!?? Should he expect his would-be-wife to be happy with his money or his affection? Should he also believe that money can buy ‘Love’ along with ‘Happiness’ for that matter??!!  And if this is true, he might need to pull-up his socks to earn more to keep his favorite lady ‘happy’ and ‘lovely’!!

We all have heard the infamous quote, “Money can’t buy happiness” – aah, that’s a philosophical jargon!! Well, the phone call proved it wrong. Money ‘can’ certainly buy happiness! So keep making money, happiness will follow. (or the other way round!)

Judgement is yours.

Being a ‘woman’

The world is celebrating ‘Womanhood’. The UN Secretary General sent out a message about resolutions for security, health and social leadership of women worldwide. A number of articles, debates and thoughts were produced on the empowerment of the weaker sex. The parliament of the largest democracy debated reservations for women in the country to see women more fulfilled. Unfortunately, on the other side, in a tragic and shocking incident, a 21-year-old girl was shot dead in the broad day life of the national capital. Will reservation guarantee the right to live?  The answer is ‘no’.

Last month I visited my cousin’s residence just for a day. Here’s the story of one day I saw of her life which I feel is important to share with the world even though it’s nothing new in India.

She is just another woman, but her life belongs to others, not herself. Living in a family of three, her husband is a senior engineer in an automobile MNC. They have a talented (read talent as per today’s world) son studying in standard three. And this article is about the woman, not the rest of two. But her life (post-marriage) is never about her, it’s been about her family.

For her, the day awakens with duties of her son as the kid gets ready for school, and to send an eight year kid to school requires a lot of efforts, if it’s about a single person doing it all. As per Indian family culture, the woman has to wake up early and see if the son’s departure to the school cab is smooth. Else the head of the family will question on her irresponsibleness. Once the child leaves the cement boundary, his father is about to evoke about his day’s schedule, so he wakes up and enters the bathroom straight away. No ‘Good Morning’ wishes from either side of the human couple.

The woman is now concerned about her mate for life, her better-half. She is smart enough, while preparing Tiffin for her kid; she has added some extra vegetables in the frying pan to lower the effort later on. So it’s the time to prepare the rest of the dishes to serve breakfast to her husband. The deadline for all is sharp ten o’clock in the morning when the male candidate won’t listen to any excuses from her if he misses out on anything starting from underwear to the tie. She has a heart which can bear any exploitation on earth, but can’t swallow a disturbed mind of her husband due to mistakes that she thinks of making. Actually those are sere carelessness and irresponsibility of her life partner. For this very reason her preparations for the morning starts a night before as she plans many things in advance for the next day.

Just before 15-20 minutes of his exit, he gears up finally for the day. So he needs everything right there wherever he wants to find something. If he doesn’t find even a specific paper, he shouts at his wife demanding a mere scrap. Human emotions are at severe shock thanks to the rat race of humans in the twenty-first century. She gathered speed to meet the demand. She wouldn’t want to create any further harassment to him as he might create ruckus in the house. For everything else, his voice was filled with arrogance, proving the male dominance in the family. The scene goes on depicting the significance of men in the family where women are just slaves of their needs and wants. By signing a marriage contract, a woman officially and most importantly, socially accepts the slavery for her entire life. The man, has it all in his own house, but wants to get everything facilitated by somebody without offering himself any physical pain. He has taken her as granted as somebody to serve him till the time anybody of them die. Forget love for his wife, he doesn’t have a few kind words of support for her unstoppable efforts to keep his professional life at ease.  But he quickly responds his boss’s call with all the telephone etiquettes he has learnt to climb up the corporate hierarchy. He is a man of few words…Sorry, I should say, he is a man of no words. When I greeted him with a Namaskar, he managed to nod his head with fake smile as the rest of the face didn’t compliment those lips. I went ahead as per the tradition to ask if he’s keeping well and he repeated the head exercise looking at me without uttering a single word. I wondered if I was talking to a dumb, probably a civilized dumb. Can I really blame him for whatever he is today or should I blame the societal needs of success which have captivated his mind absolutely?

Finally, he leaves for office with giving much-needed relief to the woman. She takes a breather, but house works are yet to be finished. Here comes the turn to serve the in-laws and guests in the house. In Indian families, if you don’t treat your in-laws/guests well, you are sinful. And those guests feel like offended even if they are aware of the situation inside the walls. So she has the responsibility to keep her guests merry with some great food and most importantly with sweet sweet talk including the stories of joy of her own life (even though there ain’t any). Immediately changing her role, she became the most lovable and caring sister to me. In between all, she had to manage preparing lunch, taking back clothes from the laundry, societal formalities and outdoor works and to wait for her son to be back from school to feed him and take care of his needs for the next day. And then she also managed take me for a city ride along with her son. In the way to a park, she touchingly asks me if I am happy in my life as we met after a very long time. Without answering, I posed the same question back to her. “I am happy about my son. He is everything to me” – she says. The answer was self-explanatory. I didn’t need to go for the second question to know her moral fiber.

Probably, she has accepted the way of life that has been given to her. Serving all day all night with no wrinkles on her forehead and still smiling at times. The smile seemed unreal to me. During the entire day’s life of a woman, I could hardly see a smile or laughter which came from her heart. She tried her best to make my day a memorable one and she was successful too. She has played a successful role of a star maker. But unfortunately she couldn’t find any way to keep herself satisfied with her own life. To say that she is happy about her kid is a consolation prize for the life she lost to her parents ten years back when she got married at the time when she was at the peak of her career. A decade after she lost that all to never get on track.

She has sacrificed her own dreams for her parent’s happiness then and today she sacrifices life every single day to keep other’s happy and cheerful. She is into her early thirties, but hardly aware of her hair turning grey. She never complains about her husband’s sense of being ill-bred. She has no grudges for the life she is leading today. Because she is a woman.

Even if she has, who is there to listen?

I travelled memory lane, when I used to see her being passionate for a career in journalism in her younger days before marriage. Today, I felt as if the terms like ‘freedom’ and ‘dream’ hardly have any relevance for her as the century old men-dominating feudal system still ruling her life and mind. She has succumbed to the idea of ‘pati-vrata-patni’, negotiating each day with her own likes and dislikes for her husband, who hardly is bothered about her individuality, her parents, people who have no roles in her life today, who won’t come to her rescue believing the girl child as ‘parai ghar ki amanat’.

Even though things are changing for women around the world, the rate of change is slower than the snail’s pace. For the growth of humanity as a whole, women must come out of the shells and shocks commanding their minds since ages. Women need to be more sensitive towards themselves, not others. Wherever you be, be yourself. We can’t afford to celebrate womanhood unless women rise up to the cause of their own self-empowerment and audacious living. No doubt, the world will be a much better place to live in when equal number of women (or more) realize their potentials as individuals with equal freedom and opportunities.

 

The Woman

When God created woman, he was working late on the 6th day. An angel came by and said: “Why spend so much time on that one?” And the Lord answered: “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?” “She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands”. The angel was impressed. “Just two hands….impossible!” And this is the standard model! “Too much work for one day….wait until tomorrow and then complete her.” “I will not”, said the Lord. “I am so close to complete this creation, which will be the favorite of my heart”. “She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day”. The angel came nearer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord!”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.“ “Can she think?” the angel asked. The Lord answered: “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.” The angel touched the woman’s cheek….“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.” “She is not leaking….it’s a tear” the lord corrected the angel “What’s it for?” asked the angel. And the Lord said: “Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.” This made a big impression on the angel; “Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvelous!”Indeed she is! Woman has strength that amazes man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when feeling like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid. She fights for what she believes in. Stand up against injustice. She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution. She gives herself so her family can thrive. She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid. Her love is unconditional. She cries when her kids are victorious. She is happy when her friends do well. She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding. Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies. But she finds the strength to get on with life. She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart. There is only one thing wrong with her She forgets what she is worth… Pass this on to your lady friends to remind them how fantastic they are….pass it on to men you know. Sometimes they need to be reminded..!!!

Thanks to Piyal Biswas for this influential post. I salute to the very spirit of womanhood. The creation of human being would have been impossible without them.