We are seekers of permanent love, relationships, friendships and what not. We expect that our loved ones will love us forever without any change in the temperament of their emotions; that the relationship will remain healthy forever with no damage whatsoever; and that our partners will not look elsewhere for fulfilling their emotional, physical or spiritual needs.
But the reality is exactly the opposite. Our dearest of friends, intimate partners and even siblings can become indifferent to us or make unexpected departures from our lives.
Who knows what the future holds!
Yet we remain deeply attached to our relationships. This attachment is nothing but a slavery. We call it love. It is not. It is our conveniences disguised as love. Marriages and relationships are merely existing for the conveniences of the partners, not for their individual evolution.
Love is free, relationships are not. They don’t allow us to move freely, rather obstruct our ways towards freedom, whereas love frees an individual.
The moment we realise that the relationship is not serving the purpose of individual evolution, it is time to contemplate. The term ‘relationship’ comes from a phrase ‘to relate’. When two individuals can not relate to each other with an open mind, it brings the death of the relationship closer. Both the individuals may carry on with the relationship pretending to be together, but the essence is missing. Relationship then remains at the surface level. Romance may happen, laughter may be there, but something deeper is missing.
We do everything to control our partners. Our insecurities are deep rooted. With the slightest amount of insecurity within, can we love totally? How can one love completely with having a fear of losing the love? It is impossible.
We do not want to work on those fears, rather we choose to enforce our fears on our partners. They, out of their concern for us, often, give up. They deliberately let go of their potential of evolution. This is where our relationships are becoming toxic and suicidal.
We need to have great emotional intelligence to let the other be free. We need to look at our own fear which results in possessiveness. Love is about loving unconditionally thereby helping the partner to grow towards ultimate human potential. Love isn’t about cutting the wings of the other in the order of our own expectations.
Our love is not love. It is a self-created illusion born out of our fear which we call love.
Love is when there is no ‘I’.
Love is impossible till we are entrenched in hollow physical togetherness without any soul in it.
Perhaps we are not looking for love. We do not have the courage to pursue it. We are fine with our conveniences.