Relationship and Love

We are seekers of permanent love, relationships, friendships and what not. We expect that our loved ones will love us forever without any change in the temperament of their emotions; that the relationship will remain healthy forever with no damage whatsoever; and that our partners will not look elsewhere for fulfilling their emotional, physical or spiritual needs.

But the reality is exactly the opposite. Our dearest of friends, intimate partners and even siblings can become indifferent to us or make unexpected departures from our lives.

Who knows what the future holds!

Yet we remain deeply attached to our relationships. This attachment is nothing but a slavery. We call it love. It is not. It is our conveniences disguised as love. Marriages and relationships are merely existing for the conveniences of the partners, not for their individual evolution.

Love is free, relationships are not. They don’t allow us to move freely, rather obstruct our ways towards freedom, whereas love frees an individual.

The moment we realise that the relationship is not serving the purpose of individual evolution, it is time to contemplate. The term ‘relationship’ comes from a phrase ‘to relate’. When two individuals can not relate to each other with an open mind, it brings the death of the relationship closer. Both the individuals may carry on with the relationship pretending to be together, but the essence is missing. Relationship then remains at the surface level. Romance may happen, laughter may be there, but something deeper is missing.

We do everything to control our partners. Our insecurities are deep rooted. With the slightest amount of insecurity within, can we love totally? How can one love completely with having a fear of losing the love? It is impossible.

We do not want to work on those fears, rather we choose to enforce our fears on our partners. They, out of their concern for us, often, give up. They deliberately let go of their potential of evolution. This is where our relationships are becoming toxic and suicidal.

We need to have great emotional intelligence to let the other be free. We need to look at our own fear which results in possessiveness. Love is about loving unconditionally thereby helping the partner to grow towards ultimate human potential. Love isn’t about cutting the wings of the other in the order of our own expectations.

Our love is not love. It is a self-created illusion born out of our fear which we call love.

Love is when there is no ‘I’.

Love is impossible till we are entrenched in hollow physical togetherness without any soul in it.

Perhaps we are not looking for love. We do not have the courage to pursue it. We are fine with our conveniences.

Advertisements

When I set out to write..

Whenever I set out to write, I do not find words. It feels as if I really want to say something, but there are no words to express them. I do not even know what exactly the heart wants to say that the mind is unable to comprehend. All that is felt deeper in my being is ‘silence’. How do really I express the silence in words!

My friends tell me I should write more. I am unable to say either yes or no to them. My diary on the table looks at me every day with its empty pages waiting to be filled. I realized a year ago that I have been unable to pen anything at all. So I bought a simple diary with no mention of dates and days of the year.

I am living the days and mornings joyously. Perhaps I have forgotten to worry about time and dates. I have no goals to achieve. Time feels timeless. Even though I look at my wristwatch so many times in a day, even though the mobile phone does help me wake up in the morning, yet these practices are the worldly life that I lead. Moments have become far more significant than days or weeks. Life flows through the nostrils in a mysterious way. Watching the breath, or the body move from one place to another are eternal experiences. Walking with bare feet on earth is…I can not describe it in words. Looking at someone’s eyes makes me forgetful of all. I lose myself in them silently. I feel too poor to pour any more words to describe them.

Silence is all that I feel when I set out to write. Perhaps words are losing their importance. What is this silence about? Where did it come from? I don’t know. I do not want to know either. These questions are of the mind because the mind wants to judge everything.

I feel much lighter than before. I carry not much of attachments, ego, desire or ambitions anymore. With this silence, life seems to be deeply meaningful. There’s beauty within me and magic all around. This silence has allowed the eyes to be a witness to the play of the divine, rather than looking at objects of ownership. The silence has helped the heart to love intensely, yet the mind is mindful of its emotions.

Love is transforming into devotion. The sunrise and sunset make my heart dance. The trees and the wind sing with me the songs of oneness. The moon and the stars never looked so beautiful! The darkness of the night was never felt so mysterious. If you are reading this, accept my gratitude for you for being who you are. I am no different than you for I come from the same source as you. I bow down to you in my love for you.

It feels good that the silence could speak so much today. Yet, so much is left unsaid.

Love is not enough

Being in love is an entirely different feeling! The world looks beautiful then. Really! But when we live together, it’s a different story altogether again!

And then only love is not enough. Understanding becomes the key. Not love. Compassion is important than passion. A moment comes when we don’t agree with our partners and we feel enraged. The need is to calm down then and there. It is not important to prove ourselves right in the very moments of an argument.

What is required is a calm mind who calms the other.

I Miss Her..

It’s been months now. To have seen her. Feel her. Hug her. Kiss her.

Life is testing us since half a year. She has been at the receiving end. With her severe backache, she is at her home taking the treatment and I am looking for a job. Thanks to scarcity of funds, we can’t meet. We are in debt too. We just took risks with the last project we did. Nothing’s wrong with that. That is important for growth. Without risks, we are dead souls. Yet, this risk got us into trouble. We never knew it would take a toll on her health.

This is the time when she needs me more and the vice versa. Yet, we are far away from each other. In India, it feels like a continent to travel from southern part of the country to the west.

Yet, she hasn’t lost courage. She inspires me, often, to face it all with humility. That makes her adorable, just irresistible. She is a woman.

I miss her.

♥ ♥

Communication

While campaigning, we have been reaching out to friends, families and people for funding. A few have helped, the rest didn’t. It’s quite obvious that not everybody would help, especially financially.

But when it comes to friends, we tend to expect more. We sincerely feel that they should understand our intentions and actions. Again, a few of them do understand and come forward for support, but the rest probably lack the connect or imagination.

Since last half a year, we have seen times when our real good friends have denied outrightly to support this campaign. They didn’t want to be a part of the campaign nor had any interest to help with funds. It was nothing but a reality check for us. Of late, there were friends (and seniors) who, at first, listening to our story assured of their help. When we followed up, they turned their back. They didn’t even respond to our calls, emails or messages. This kind of behavior is wierd and sort of really disappointing at times.

This is nothing but lack of courage to say no. We need have the  courage to communicate. There’s nothing wrong if we want to say no for something. It’s perfectly alright. But we must respond.

Perhaps that’s why communication is an art, not everybody is an artist.

A profound love letter by a girl

Subject: Love in you

Sagar,

I find love in you , I find you in love. 

You are the matter of my heart and truth of the matter.

You are a driving force in my life.

I love you and I believe you.

The journey of togetherness that we took before few months will be a journey of a lifetime, this journey has no beginning and no end.

I feel blessed in the moment, I feel you around me , into me.

Feeling your whispers, your touch, your love.

Need you right here to give you a warm and tight hug.

My love is growing for you more and more day by day but in a very different way. Though, we are communicating less these days, I feel that we are getting closer.

Our love is now going to another level probably and we are learning to love silently. Feeling each other in our own moments individually but still together.

I have felt the need to be with you by making this relationship more secured at times by signing papers but then I have also felt more urge from within to remain in love and trust love without signing papers.

I do believe and feel that our love is timeless and endless. <3.

In love with you madly.

Maani