Relationship and Love

We are seekers of permanent love, relationships, friendships and what not. We expect that our loved ones will love us forever without any change in the temperament of their emotions; that the relationship will remain healthy forever with no damage whatsoever; and that our partners will not look elsewhere for fulfilling their emotional, physical or spiritual needs.

But the reality is exactly the opposite. Our dearest of friends, intimate partners and even siblings can become indifferent to us or make unexpected departures from our lives.

Who knows what the future holds!

Yet we remain deeply attached to our relationships. This attachment is nothing but a slavery. We call it love. It is not. It is our conveniences disguised as love. Marriages and relationships are merely existing for the conveniences of the partners, not for their individual evolution.

Love is free, relationships are not. They don’t allow us to move freely, rather obstruct our ways towards freedom, whereas love frees an individual.

The moment we realise that the relationship is not serving the purpose of individual evolution, it is time to contemplate. The term ‘relationship’ comes from a phrase ‘to relate’. When two individuals can not relate to each other with an open mind, it brings the death of the relationship closer. Both the individuals may carry on with the relationship pretending to be together, but the essence is missing. Relationship then remains at the surface level. Romance may happen, laughter may be there, but something deeper is missing.

We do everything to control our partners. Our insecurities are deep rooted. With the slightest amount of insecurity within, can we love totally? How can one love completely with having a fear of losing the love? It is impossible.

We do not want to work on those fears, rather we choose to enforce our fears on our partners. They, out of their concern for us, often, give up. They deliberately let go of their potential of evolution. This is where our relationships are becoming toxic and suicidal.

We need to have great emotional intelligence to let the other be free. We need to look at our own fear which results in possessiveness. Love is about loving unconditionally thereby helping the partner to grow towards ultimate human potential. Love isn’t about cutting the wings of the other in the order of our own expectations.

Our love is not love. It is a self-created illusion born out of our fear which we call love.

Love is when there is no ‘I’.

Love is impossible till we are entrenched in hollow physical togetherness without any soul in it.

Perhaps we are not looking for love. We do not have the courage to pursue it. We are fine with our conveniences.

Advertisements

When I set out to write..

Whenever I set out to write, I do not find words. It feels as if I really want to say something, but there are no words to express them. I do not even know what exactly the heart wants to say that the mind is unable to comprehend. All that is felt deeper in my being is ‘silence’. How do really I express the silence in words!

My friends tell me I should write more. I am unable to say either yes or no to them. My diary on the table looks at me every day with its empty pages waiting to be filled. I realized a year ago that I have been unable to pen anything at all. So I bought a simple diary with no mention of dates and days of the year.

I am living the days and mornings joyously. Perhaps I have forgotten to worry about time and dates. I have no goals to achieve. Time feels timeless. Even though I look at my wristwatch so many times in a day, even though the mobile phone does help me wake up in the morning, yet these practices are the worldly life that I lead. Moments have become far more significant than days or weeks. Life flows through the nostrils in a mysterious way. Watching the breath, or the body move from one place to another are eternal experiences. Walking with bare feet on earth is…I can not describe it in words. Looking at someone’s eyes makes me forgetful of all. I lose myself in them silently. I feel too poor to pour any more words to describe them.

Silence is all that I feel when I set out to write. Perhaps words are losing their importance. What is this silence about? Where did it come from? I don’t know. I do not want to know either. These questions are of the mind because the mind wants to judge everything.

I feel much lighter than before. I carry not much of attachments, ego, desire or ambitions anymore. With this silence, life seems to be deeply meaningful. There’s beauty within me and magic all around. This silence has allowed the eyes to be a witness to the play of the divine, rather than looking at objects of ownership. The silence has helped the heart to love intensely, yet the mind is mindful of its emotions.

Love is transforming into devotion. The sunrise and sunset make my heart dance. The trees and the wind sing with me the songs of oneness. The moon and the stars never looked so beautiful! The darkness of the night was never felt so mysterious. If you are reading this, accept my gratitude for you for being who you are. I am no different than you for I come from the same source as you. I bow down to you in my love for you.

It feels good that the silence could speak so much today. Yet, so much is left unsaid.

Desires

Looking deeply within, I find the reasons of suffering are nothing but the desires of a million kinds. These desires are like unseen sink holes. Mind is busy creating new desires everyday and falling into the self-made trap from which it finds difficult to save itself.

Desires are of many kinds. The most powerful ones are of sex, money and power. The more we get close to them, the less it is. We spend our lifetimes pursuing these desires.

Unless we are really aware of the hollowness of these desires, we shall continue live in perils.

The Path Of Truth

The path of truth is an arduous journey, o human being. You shall fall a million times. You shall be torn apart a million times. Remember to get up and start walking again. There are no footprints to follow here. But there is a voice already within thy heart. Follow thy heart. Trust. Surrender.

You never know when you may lose the ones who are holding your hands because they are all temporary. They are holding your hands because they need you to hold theirs. This is attachment.

It may be really difficult to lose the sight of the shore when the ship ventures into the ocean. Similarly it is difficult to let go of the attachments. But that venturing is needed. Freedom is the ultimate need.

If you feel you are holding a hand for support, understand why are you holding it? If the root cause is clear, then there’s no suffering. If there is suffering, it is an attachment.

“You only lose what you cling to.”
~ Budhhist saying

Trust

Wherever I go, I meet people who are deeply unsecured. Unsecured about relationships, jobs, happiness and almost everything that matters. The bigger the worldly achievement, the deeper the attachment with it. With that attachment comes insecurity.

When we fall in love with someone, we want to possess the person. We get married in order to possess our partners. Married partners are the most unsecured ones. If partners do not have the feeling of insecurity, why they even need the system of marriage? This very system has institutionalised love. How on earth we could convert love into a political system? These institutions are the result of our deep insecurities. We constantly live in fear of losing something or the other.

People are manipulative at workplaces and even in the families. Whom do we really trust? In New Delhi’s metro trains, the loud speaker says not to befriend strangers. Perilous mentality of our society has been destroying our trust. Hence trust seems to be a far-sighted dream, never a reality in practice.

But when we really begin to trust ourselves, the door of transformation opens up. This trust isn’t dependent on any outside entity or force. It’s an inner alchemy which is born out of the recognition of the self.

Aloneness

In aloneness, there is peace within. Aloneness is beautiful because we were born alone and we will die alone. But because of our attachments, we depend on others for our happiness which is suicidal. That is loneliness. If we really understand aloneness, it’s the most beautiful state of being where we have love for ourselves. We are deeply in understanding of the divinity within us and the world is nothing but the manifestation of the same divinity.

We have the choice to either rejoice in the beauty of our own hearts or suffer from our self-inflicted attachments.

Aloneness

In aloneness, there is peace within. Aloneness is beautiful because we were born alone and we will die alone. But because of our attachments, we depend on others for our happiness which is suicidal. That is loneliness. If we really understand aloneness, it’s the most beautiful state of being where we have love for ourselves. We are deeply in understanding of the divinity within us and the world is nothing but the manifestation of the same divinity.

We have the choice to either rejoice in the beauty of our own hearts or suffer from our self-inflicted attachments.